lingering hate
by daftpunkress
Summary: a nel/nnoitra lemon with a little plot. Its a little dark and of course being nnoitra there are a few curse words. * Nnoitra corners nel for the second time. why is it so hard for her to realize that he really hated her and she couldnt change him?* ugh my summary and title sucks but just read it if you are a nel/nnoitra fan. you wont be dissapointed!


A/N: Ok so I don't know Nel/ Nnoitra that well but I read a few fics that had them in it and I reaaaaly like them so I decided to write this fic. Also they might be a little OOC

A/N: Also from what I gather Nnoitra is a real potty mouth so yeah there are quite a few bad words in this.

A/N: I'm well aware that he has only one eye but its really awkward writing 'eye' and not 'eyes' so yeah lol

* * *

Nnoitra watched her silently his eyes following her every move, her face which was usually cheery was now full of concern and apprehension. As if on cue her head turned towards where he sat and her large hazel eyes met his. He sneered at her and she glanced away timidly.

That little bitch, her eyes were always filled with pity and disappointment when she looked at him before, but now it was replaced with fear. He knew she would never look at him with respect or as anything other than a 'beast'. So like a beast he had acted.

Neliel was completely aware of Nnoitra's dark brooding eyes on her every move. A chill ran down her spine and her breath became uneven. He could probably tell she was afraid of him. Every fiber in her being was screaming that she should not be alone with him. Not in the same room, not in the same house, not in the same realm.

But she wouldn't run, she couldn't let him know that her mind was racing recalling what had happened. The brazen way he had stormed into her room, slamming the door the harsh sound resonating through the empty house.

His anger had been palpable as he had forced himself on her. Taking out his frustration on her body in such a raw and primal manner that had left her feeling vulnerable and broken. He had called her every disgusting name in the book, his eyes never quite meeting hers. Her body had been in pain, but she had silently let him use her body as he furiously lost himself in her. And when it was done she had held him in her arms his head pressed against her breast.

They had stayed like that, their bodies still joined together for what seemed like hours. Her threading her long fingers through his long unkempt hair in a soft soothing manner. Him seemingly content to stay close to her, no doubt he could hear the quickened beating of her heart. Neither spoke as time seemed to stand still. Then in the quiet aftermath of such a brutal joining she hoped that he had found some peace with her.

She had always had a place for him in her heart. She had never known why he had so passionately despised her, so much that he had tried to kill her. Her hand went absently to her forehead, where it traced the large scar that was proof of that hatred. But that hadn't deterred her at all.

Neliel did her best to try and help him change. She felt that his anger was misplaced, that maybe he used it as a defense to cover up the loneliness that blackened his heart. He might act emotionless and vulgar but deep down she knew he was a good person. Otherwise he would have killed her when he had had the chance.

He rose behind her and she could hear his light precise steps as he made his way towards her. Neliel kept her head bent, pretending to continue what she had been doing previously. Nnoitra stopped just behind her, maybe less than an arm's length. His tall lanky body towered over her so completely that she felt tiny and insignificant.

She turned her head slightly throwing him a questioning look her brow rose slightly. He was closer then she had first thought glaring at her with a demented grin on his lips. A sudden feeling of unease crept through her body and she visibly tensed. "I'm busy Nnoitra." She barely got out unexpectedly unable to breathe.

He didn't utter a word but instead leaned in just a little bit closer, his tongue slipping from between his lips to sweep across her cheek, leaving a damp trail in its wake. Leisurely he made his way to her lips sweeping the slightly extended appendage against them. It wasn't a kiss just him testing how far she would let him take it.

Neliel pulled away, her eyes narrowed. She took a deep breath and with a hint of dismissal in her voice turned away from him. "I'm busy Nnoitra." She repeated, unsure of what kind of game he was playing with her. They weren't alone in the house, the rest of the Espadas were scattered about the rooms doing their different things.

"You are always too busy bitch." He took a menacing step forward, backing her into a table, "Too busy to fight me, too busy to do anything but look down on people with your pity filled condescending eyes." His voice rough and his gray eyes were wild.

She tried to back away, unsure of what to say to him. Telling him that he was wrong, that she didn't pity him would not help. He would see that as her trying to undermine and placate him, enraging him even more. Her back hit the wall and she realized she was trapped. Nnoitra slammed his hands into the wall on either side of her head causing her to flinch.

Neliel knew that if push came to shove she could easily beat him, but she didn't like fighting at all, especially with Nnoitra. She wouldn't give him any more reason to hate her. If he could only see that she didn't care about this whole rivalry that he perceived they were caught in, maybe he would let it go and stop fighting her.

He was still glaring at her with that wild look in his slited eyes, "I'll take your silence as your answer." He said scornfully, his hand leaving the wall to rest on the hem of her shirt.

"No. I treat all my friends—"

Nnoitra laughed mockingly. "We may work together, but we are not friends. You are nothing to me." So saying he yanked her shirt violently ripping it at the seams. The material fell open around her shoulders revealing her cotton clad breasts to him.

She should have known. After he had come to her that night he had kept his distance rudely ignoring every greeting she had given him, even going as far as leaving the room when she entered. But then today he had sought her out purposely taking a seat in the corner, watching her every move. She should have known something was wrong.

He wasn't as enraged as he had been that night, but Nnoitra was always in a state of fury. He was deliberate and calculating and when he was mad he lost all sense of reason and rationality. "We can't do this here. Someone might walk in..." she let her statement trail. Letting him do this to her body was not the problem. She had already realized that maybe if she let him feel for himself, with her body, that she really cared for him he would change.

His eyes had been on the creamy rise of her breast and the sullen valley of her stomach, "Are you afraid that your 'friends'" he spat the word out as if saying it gave him great displeasure, "will find out what kind of fucking whore you are? Walking around with your tits barely covered and your scent permeating the air."

Neliel blinked shocked she didn't parade herself around like that; it was only on occasion after when she reverted from her child self that her clothes tore. She didn't intentionally walk around like that to get attention. "You are wrong!" Neliel tried to deny.

Nnoitra chuckled contemptuously, "Yes, I am wrong and you are right. Shall I bow to you now your Highness?" his voice dripped with sarcasm.

"No, it's not like that Nnoitra …" she whispered trying to explain. "You don't understand…."

"Understand what?!" he shouted, his hand once again punching the wall next to her head. "You speak to me as if I'm a child, so fucking haughty and patronizing. Who did you have to fuck to become number 3?" he grabbed her breast roughly and began fondling her hardening nipple.

"I didn't… you were…you know…" her voice was strained, the way he was pinching her nipple was painful. He would not accept that he was wrong though. She must have slept her way to the top, otherwise how else did a woman become the 3rd espada? It could not be that she was stronger than him. If she would have known how complicated it would be she would have refused. Being dead was far better than being hated so vehemently for something she could not control.

Neliel squirmed and tried to pull away as the pain became too much. Nnoitra's other hand came up to her hips forcefully stopping her movement. It would be easier if she just stayed quiet and let him have his way with her, like before. After he was satisfied it might be simpler to talk to him.

She stopped struggling. As if he sensed her submission his hands left her body. He stared at her his eyes less angry but his lips were still frowning. She willed her body to go limp closing her eyes and waited for him to roughly rip away what was left of her clothes and painfully enter her.

"No." he ground out, "Not this time." His fingers dug painfully into the sensitive skin of her side. Neliel's eyes snapped open at the sharp pain and let out a whimper. "You fucking bitch." He whispered near her ear. "Don't' close your eyes on me. I want to see your fear."

So he was just toying with her then, this like everything was just a game to him. To see how far he could push her until she finally gave in. She understood completely now. He couldn't beat her physically so he would do it emotionally. He would use her own body to break her. Nnoitra didn't understand just how strong of a woman she was.

Neliel kept her eyes on him now and he peered into hers unblinking. His hands moved of their own free will ripping away her skirt and flinging it to the floor. She stood now in her plain cotton undies. With a quick rip her panties joined her skirt discarded on the floor.

His eyes darted away from hers to glance down at her nakedness; unconsciously she brought her thighs together to block his sight. That seemed to incense him because he forcibly grasped her legs and pulled them apart. His gray eyes studied her for what seemed like forever before he bent to his knees before her.

He leaned forward suddenly and buried his face between her thighs, gripping her hips as he breathed in deeply losing himself in her scent. Neliel jerked in surprise and he could feel the muscles of her thighs and abdomen tense.

Her scent was thick and somewhat intoxicating. She walked around smelling like lavender and vanilla, teasing his nostrils each time she came close to him. The first time he had fucked her, he had wanted to hurt her. To prove to her that she could feel pain that she could be made to cry.

And she had cried. He had enjoyed the sound, pushing deeper and harder just to hear more of it. She had stopped struggling after a while, just lying limp in his arms as the tears flowed freely from her closed eyes. His tongue had flitted out to lick at the saltiness, continuing only until he had found his release inside her.

They had been there afterwards, her clutching him to her breast for a long long while. He had listened to her heart beat hating that it had been good. Hating that he wanted to do it again. She had fallen asleep in his arms and he had debated on if he should let her just sleep on the floor. For some reason he couldn't do that, instead he laid her gently on her mattress and brought the covers up over her nude body.

He hadn't cared about her pleasure then, and he certainly didn't care about it now. He wanted to taste her for the simple fact that he wanted to, not because he knew her knees would buckle and she would clutch at his shoulders moaning his name.

But that's what she was doing as his tongue flicked out to taste her wetness. Her nails bit slightly into his shoulders as he traced the outline of her lips, tentatively exploring her. Nnoitra moved in closer slipping his tongue farther inside giving her a kiss that he would not give to her real lips.

Neliel moaned softly, her hips rising a little trying to ease closer to the delicious sensations that his mouth was causing in her body. The first time hadn't been like this at all, she had only felt pain as he had touched her. But this was different she felt something building deep within her body, like a tight spring ready to be released.

Nnoitra continued to explore her wet opening his tongue plunging into her. He began to lick her clit slowly running his tongue against it and sucking it into his lips using his teeth to graze the sensitive flesh. He continued to lick her there, suckling her clit gently into his lips and then running his tongue over it rapidly.

She moaned his name, rocking her hips slowly against his mouth she could feel the amazing pleasure circling her body over and over building until she was so close. She wasn't sure what she was close to but it felt amazing. And then it hit her hard and she climaxed. Her body was flooded with a hot surge of pleasure and her whole body melted. If his strong hands were not on her hips she would have dissolved into a boneless heap of pleasure.

Abruptly Nnoitra pulled away his gray eyes scrutinizing her intently. Her breathing was labored and she could hardly catch her breath. She could still feel tiny waves of pleasure radiating throughout her body. Her brow was wet and her hair was plastered to the back of her neck.

He growled releasing her hips and pushing her back against the wall. He licked his lips, relishing the taste of her that still lingered on his lips. She glanced up at him with those large hazel eyes. There was no fear in those eyes, no pity, no condemnation, but they shone with something else.

"You fucking idiot." He grunted. He wasn't sure if it was meant for her or himself. Can't that bitch see that he loathed her, that he didn't want her to care for him? He didn't need her to look after him, to try and change him. He knew that she would never be his; he wouldn't be able to function properly if she ever gave in to him. It was better this way, hating her.

"Nnoitra…?" she questioned uncertainly. Even now while he was for all intents and purposes raping her, she was still concerned about him. He could see it clearly written on her face. She was letting him hurt her and all she cared about was him.

For some reason that seemed to make him angry again. He didn't say anything else but pulled her away from the wall and forced her to her knees in front of him. His hands were rough in her long hair as he, with his free hand quickly pulled his pants just slightly below his hips.

His breathing was uneven and his fingers continue to dig into her scalp. Neliel moaned in pain as she tried to ease out of his grip a little. His hold was relentless as he shoved her closer to his now freed cock.

She swallowed trying to wet her now dry mouth. She tentatively put her lips to it uncertain of what she was to do. Nnoitra groaned and she glanced up at him. His eyes were closed tightly and he looked as if he was in pain.

"I'm sorry." She whispered pulling away, "I… didn't mean to." His eyes snapped open and his hold on her hair tightened. Her lips parted in a yelp of pain and he took that moment to thrust his hips, burying as much of his cock as he could in her mouth.

Neliel gaged unable to breathe, she tried to pull away to get some air. She could hear his sinister laughter and she didn't dare look into his eyes, afraid of what she would see there. It was unsettling to realize that he really did take pleasure out of causing her pain.

He finally released her and she pulled away taking large breaths trying breath normally. "Do you know what to do now, bitch? Or would you like me to show you how again?" his voice was low and sardonic a disturbing note of scorn lacing each word.

When she had finally caught her breath she shook her head. With one hand he guided his cock towards her lips, pushing the tip past her lips seeking and gaining access. She licked the tip, running her tongue slowly over the ridges of the head tracing the soft lines and crevices of his cock. She pulled his cock into her mouth fully sucking and licking him as he groaned and ran his hands through her hair thrusting his hips in tune with her sucking.

It seemed like forever before she felt that he was close to cumming. He was off in another world as his body tightened and she could hear his breaths coming shorter and quicker. Nnoitra carelessly thrusted his cock into her warm mouth as he came in a surge. His body was overcome with pleasure and he moaned her name as each hot spurt landed at the back of her throat.

Neliel tried not to swallow as he expending every bit of himself into her mouth, but her gag reflex kicked in and she had to breathe. His hand was still tightly gripping her hair forcing her to keep the contact as he continued to thrust his hips until there was nothing left.

Nnoitra laughed mockingly as he pulled his cock out of her mouth. Neliel spat out what she could taking deep breaths trying to get air back into her body, he just watched her with sick delight. She could barely sit up properly as she continued to have trouble breathing.

He watched her all the time that same disturbing gleam in his eyes. Could she had been entirely wrong about him? Was he really that evil and she had just making up excuses all along to not see that?

He pulled her up from the ground and pressed her against the table next to the wall. He turned her away from him so that he wouldn't have to see her face. With unsteady fingers he parted her legs, and leaned her farther down until her breasts were crushed against the smooth surface.

Neliel closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable only then understanding what kind of man Nnoitra really was. She had been foolish to think that she was going to be the one that saved him. He didn't want to be saved, he was truly incapable of feeling any emotion other than hate. That scared her the most.

He placed his hands on her hips and in one swift thrust buried himself inside her to the hilt. Neliel squirmed at the initial pain from his rough entry. His cock was thick and long and it seemed to stretch her tightness. Nnoitra breath came out in a hiss as he pulled out and buried himself inside her again.

It wasn't as painful as before, he slid in and out easily and soon he had a rhythm that was making her body tremble from the pleasure. Neliel moaned his name as she thrusted her hips back into his keeping time with him.

It felt amazing being in her again, her pussy sucked him in as her lips had. She was moaning his name and breathing hard pushing her body into his. What a little slut, she must love being dominated by him. Crying out his name like that, making those sexy little noises.

Nnoitra's nails dug into her hips and she cried out in pain. He didn't want her to enjoy this, that wasn't the point. The point was for her to fear him, if she enjoyed it she would continue to talk to him and wave at him each time she saw him, giving him that sweet little smile. The point was for her to hate him, hate him as much as he hated her.

Kami did he hate her. He hated that he wanted her, he hated the fact that the woman he most despised was making him so delirious. He hated that she was the only woman he wanted to do this with, the only one who would give him pleasure.

Nnoitra pulled her hair violently, forcing her to face him. Ugh, he hated everything about her. Her face, her voice, those fucking eyes that judged him. Those lips that had so haughtily called him a beast. Those same fucking lips that he wanted to kiss. He wanted to shove his tongue pass those pink parted lips and fuck that sweet wetness as his cock was doing to her pussy.

"Oh… Nnoitra…" she moaned as he continued to pound into her, their eyes meeting and holding each other. He wouldn't kiss her, he wouldn't give her that pleasure.

"Don't say my name you fucking whore." He said brutally slamming his hips into hers. She cried out again leaning back into his chest.

His breathing was ragged and uneven as he felt his control begin to waver. He was so close to the edge again. He didn't care if she came again, but he still reigned in his pleasure holding out. For what? Why did he want her to feel anything?

"Mm… Nnoitra…" she moaned as one of his hands came up to cup her breast. He ripped the cotton franticly trying to feel her smooth skin. Her large breast flooded his waiting hand, her nipples hardening instantly from the cool air. He fondle it roughly his fingers biting into the sensitive flesh.

"Stop it." He grounded out angrily. Hearing his name come out of her mouth like that, made an unknown feeling roll through him. "Fuck…you…whore." He sneered punctuating each word with a hard thrust of his hips.

Nnoitra stopped playing with her nipple to grab her arm that she was using to support herself against the table, and guided her fingers to her clit. He wrapped his other arm around her waist keeping her pinned against him. He used his hand to mold her fingers against herself, rubbing her clit roughly.

Neliel's body tensed and her pussy tightened around his cock. She whimpered her body racked with pleasure. Nnoitra finally let his control slip and drove into her over and over as his own orgasm washed over him. Her body welcomed every drop of him sucking him dry as she moaned softly against him.

He regained control of his body first, his breathing was still slightly labored. She was softly weeping in his arms, her hair draped around her like a curtain. His own hair was matted to his forehead; he reached up slowly and wiped away the sweat that had accumulated on his brow.

He didn't want this to be another session where she would hold him and gently caress him and then it would be all right and everything was forgiven. No, he didn't want her to forgive him. Nnoitra pulled out of her suddenly and released her from his arms. She stumbled forward a bit, luckily for her the table was there and she used it to lean against as her senses and the feeling to her body came back to her.

She didn't bother looking back at him, no doubt he was standing there with that same malicious grin on his face surveying her. She could hear the soft whisper of cloth as he pulled on his pants. She would wait for him to leave and then shamefully get dressed.

She had been so wrong about him. Neliel felt tears once again prickle her eyes, she didn't bother trying to stop them from falling. Why did he hate her so much? What had she done to deserve this? All she wanted was for him to open his heart to her.

It was becoming blatantly obvious that he was not going to leave, as the minutes ticked by and he continued to observe her. He was just a few feet away from her, but it felt as if he was everywhere, sucking the air out of the room.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked from behind her his voice taunting.

What was she waiting for? It was ridiculous to stay in this room with him, to think that he would leave her alone after what he had just done. Keeping her eyes on everything but him she retrieved her clothes or what was left of it and dressed as quickly as she could.

Nnoitra blocked her way as she tried to flee the room. He grabbed her by the arm and roughly tilted her head up so he could see those damning eyes. She stared up at him for a moment, before her eyes darted away.

A jeering smirk slid over his lips. There was fear in those hazel eyes. Did she finally realize that he was not a man to mess with? No matter how hard she wanted to, she would never be able to change him.

"I was wrong about you." She whispered uncertainly, "you are worst then a beast. You…you are a monster." She pulled away from him and made a beeline for the door.

He grabbed her again, his sharp nails digging into the sensitive skin of her arm. He was furious, "I'm a fucking monster?!"

"Let go of me Nnoitra." She replied calmly even though her body was in turmoil.

He shoved her violently into the wall, pinning her against it. Neliel frowned meeting his gray eyes dead on. She wasn't going to run away from him. Once and for all she would speak her mind truthfully. She took a deep breath, "what are you going to do? Rape me again? That obviously does not solve anything." She didn't know how she could sound so bold with him so livid in front of her.

Indeed it didn't solve anything, but it made him feel good. To hear her pain, to see the fear in her eyes; fear that he had put there made him feel satisfied and fulfilled. He knew that he would continue to do it, she could act all high and mighty in front of everyone else but once they were alone, she was nothing more than a whore calling out his name.

"I don't know what I saw in you. I thought maybe there was a shred of humanity left inside of you. Something I could save and help flourish. But I was wrong, you are evil to your core." She swallowed trying to get the strength to continue.

"We are not human!" he nearly yelled at her, " If your stupid little mind wasn't filled with thoughts of 'saving' people, you would realize that." They were espadas, they were neither alive nor dead. She needed to forget about trying to find redeeming qualities in people and learn that she couldn't save everyone.

"No." she said defiantly, trying to control her own rising anger. "I don't know what happened to you Nnoitra, but…" her voice faltered. How could she tell him that he didn't need to worry, that no matter what she would still be there. She opened her mouth to speak but the words were lodged in her throat.

Without warning he was kissing her. His lips were rough against hers his tongue breaking through to touch hers. He kissed her hard, his hands still forcibly holding hers down. His tongue explored her mouth, running along her teeth, her bottom lip and her own tongue. She gave in and kissed him back. Somehow she could feel the aggression leaving him and his hands buried into her hair cupping her face to his.

That kiss, although brutal, spoke so much to her. Words that he probably couldn't bring himself to say to her. She replied to him in turn, hoping that her lips could convey what she felt for him. How much she loved him and how much she wanted him to let go of that hate.

He pulled away abruptly both their breathing ragged and stared down into her eyes. "I'm not going to leave you Nnoitra." She whispered once she could breathe again. "I don't care if you only feel anger towards me, as long as you feel something for me." He was silent as regarded her guardedly.

Then he kissed her again, this time it was so gentle that Neliel could feel her heart flutter inside of her chest. She wrapped her arms around him unable to stop the tears that were forming in her eyes. That kiss told her everything, all the wrong he had ever done to her, all the malice that he had for her seemed to wash away in that moment.

Even though no words were spoken, she felt that he had finally allowed her into his heart. He had finally let himself realize that it didn't have to be hate that was drove him. Neliel gently caressed his back in a comforting manner. "It's ok Nnoitra." She whispered against his lips.

As if he was rudely awakened from a dream he pulled away from her. His eyes narrowed and he regarded her derisively, "I could only hate a whore like you." He turned away from her and with a sneer, walked out of the room.

What had she expected? A miracle? It would take time but she would break down that hatred and he would realize that he loved her.

* * *

I've never eneded a P*W*P some kind of closure, so I'm a little iffy on this but review and let me know what you think.


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